As the World Crashes Down Around Us
by erinsgirl
Summary: Post 5x06. A sleepless Spencer finds comfort in the arms of her boyfriend.


**I'm as upset as Spencer after 5x06. The Hastings can't split up. They're secretive and scary and just belong together. It's just wrong. Besides history proves that anyone romantically involved with a Hastings will either try to sleep with Spencer, try to kill her or get her locked up. At the very least they will somehow traumatize her. So Veronica this is going to solve nothing if this ends with a new step family and if you plan to get away from the lies you may as well leave your kids behind. **

**I actually feel really sorry for Mr Hastings. His wife leaves him and his daughter calls him a murderer. Tough day. I mean every single Hastings is buried up to their necks in the mystery that is Rosewood but I actually think he's trying to protect his family.**

**Of course the quality of any PLL ep seems to correlate with Spencer being a badass or broken so I'm sure the writers will torture her further later. Is anyone else really worried. Rumor is a major death in the mid-season finale. Hints are being directed at Mona but I have a feeling Spence is in danger of losing a relative.**

**Also did anyone else think Spence was oddly calm given that her boyfriend nearly blew up in front of her. Usual PLL formula is Toby + danger = panicky, freaked-out Spencer so I found it really strange.**

**Given all the above and because I'm annoyed the show wouldn't give us any Spoby or Toby/ Caleb scenes (love that bromance, they need their own group for when the girls are being crazy secretive) I wrote this little fic.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

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Spencer blinked as she stopped suddenly, narrowly avoiding the door in front of her. Only now was she becoming aware of her surroundings. She had walked half-way across town at night and had pretty much zoned out the entire time.

Such a great idea with A back and in a particularly violent mood.

Since it was way too early to visit she decided to head back home. Or somewhere else where she could think. She was at the bottom of the stairs when a crash sounded in the alley beside her.

Spencer screamed in shock, her fingers wrapping around the railing in fear. She watched in horror as a long dark shadow stalked toward her menacingly. Her terror rose as eyes glinted at her calculatingly through the darkness.

A black figure detached itself from the gloom.

It moved towards her.

And meowed.

Spencer nearly collapsed in relief at the sight of the cat at her feet. _So much for never having to worry about A again. Now I'm jumping at Hello Kitty._

Her still sort-of racing heart jumped again, this time at the noise at the top of the stairs behind her.

"Who's there?" Ok now it was a completely different reason than fear that had her heart beating three times faster than it should be.

"It's ok, it's just a cat," Spencer assured her boyfriend. They were all on edge these days.

However her statement did little to calm him. "Spence? What are you doing?"

"Just out for a walk. I couldn't sleep and wanted to clear my head." _And undergo cardiac arrest thanks to your feline neighbours. _

"At this time in the morning?! In this weather? Are you insane?" He didn't sound pleased.

"I have multiple and varied interests. Not everyone appreciates all of them." She knew she sounded about as casual and unoffended as an interviewee.

Toby wasn't the least bit placated by her response. "Spencer we're not talking about your fondness to specifically detail and colour-code your study notes and wardrobe every season. You're wandering around Rosewood at one in the morning, in the middle of winter in just a T-shirt."

"It's actually twelve forty-seven so it's not as late as you think it is." She could picture him rolling his eyes at the clarification. Even from where she stood she could feel his exasperation. "Get in here now."

Spencer was already retracing her steps before he had finished his sentence. Her boyfriend and the sanctuary of his loft was so much more appealing than _any_ other choice. Especially since he didn't sleep with a shirt.

Toby ushered her in the door, before securing it behind her. He let out an uncharacteristic swear as he reached for her. "You're freezing." He grabbed a sweater from beside the door, draped it over her shoulders and guided her over to the couch. She could hear him muttering under his breathe about risking pneumonia and hypothermia. She was impressed though with the rather accurate description and consequences of frostbite. Clearly he had been listening when she'd given Hanna a similar lecture the week before.

It was only after she'd curled up on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket, with her boyfriend insisting on making tea that she realized how cold she was. The loft still held a slight semblance of heat and Spencer could already feel it working on her numb limbs.

She hadn't thought it was so cold. But then she hadn't planned on going outside either. Unable to sleep she'd gotten a glass of water. Pacing the kitchen had only added to the chaos in her head and before she knew it she was in front of Toby's door.

Toby brought the tea over and she immediately felt guilty as she caught the look on his face. He was exhausted which wasn't surprising. He hadn't gotten any sleep the last couple of nights between A blowing up his childhood home and then trying to look after his family. Spencer still felt her chest tighten when she recalled the moment the house blew.

On top of that she'd confessed her part in his step-sister's girlfriend's murder before all hell broke loose.

And now she'd shown up at his place in the middle of the night to further dump her problems on him. She was the world's worst girlfriend and Toby should just be admitted to sainthood already.

She pulled him down onto the couch beside her and repositioned the blanket around both of them. "How's your dad?" For once she was going to put him first. Even if she would never forgive his family for their treatment of him, she knew this still affected him. She wanted to know he was ok. He was the only good and stable thing in her life and she needed to do whatever it took to be there for him. He deserved it and so much more.

Toby sighed and pulled her close before answering. Spencer didn't hesitate to comply, curling up in his lap, wanting to give comfort as much as receive it. Toby wrapped her hair around his fingers as he told her what he knew. His dad would fully recover in a few weeks. Neither Jenna nor his stepmom had been hurt. The house was insured but it would take a while to come through. Neither of them had bothered to hide their contempt at the part where it was being ruled an accidental gas leak.

A had caused that leak deliberately. The question was why.

"How are you holding up with all this?" Spencer twisted around so that she could see his face more clearly. She knew this wasn't easy for him. He had a lot of bad memories of that place. But it had still been his home for all of his childhood. Which had been happy. Until it had been turned to hell.

"I'm honestly not sure." The crack of exhaustion was expected. But she could hear an undercurrent of sorrow, or maybe it was grief in his voice. It made her heart hurt. "Pretty much anything I wanted I have. I took all of my stuff with me when I moved out. I have things from my mom too. At least what seemed important." Spencer rubbed his arm in support.

"It's just a house. I don't even live there anymore. Better the house than my dad or someone else. But..." he trailed of and Spencer could see the confusion and pain in his eyes. God how could someone like Toby who would never hurt anyone in his life, have so much evil forced onto him.

She leaned up pressing her lips against his and tightening her arms around him. Nothing she said would undo any of his suffering but she could do this. She could let him know she was there for him. Always. That he wasn't alone. Not ever again. Just like he had in his truck mere days ago even though it felt like months.

"I just don't get why A chose my house. Was it just convenient because we were at Emily's? To get to me? Jenna? Why?" Spencer brushed her lips against his bare shoulder in support. In her mind she swore she'd find out the answer for him. If she never figured out anything else about their messed-up lives she would do that. He deserved to know why at the very least.

They sat there for a few moments. Sipping tea and wrapped in each other's arms.

It was Toby who broke the silence. "So why can't you sleep?"

The question brought back everything she had been trying to forget. If it was anyone else she would have dodged the query. Tossed back a flippant remark. But this was Toby. If there was one person she could count on for this it was him.

"My mom's really going to leave my dad. I kept thinking that she'd change her mind. That they'd fix it but…." She swallowed back a sob even as she felt Toby's lips drift across her forehead.

"I asked my dad if he killed Ali's mom." She blinked back tears at that. "Turns out A's responsible. They spent Alison a video of it and then deleted it. It wasn't my dad or Melissa. I accused my dad of murder when he was innocent." She couldn't forget the hurt on his face at that. She'd never seen her dad look so upset before. "I know how that feels. To know everyone thinks the worst of you. I felt so betrayed when they thought _I_ was the one who hurt Alison that night. And I go do the exact same thing. I guess the Hastings aren't as smart as we think we are. We never seem to learn from our mistakes."

If only she could. She'd followed her mother believing the worst of her father. For all the friction she had with her family she never wanted to believe something like that. But she had. Almost too easily. She'd hurt her father in the worst possible way. Just as she had the man who held her now.

She swiped away the tears in her eyes with her hands. She regretted it so much. The pain she caused with her sharp words. But as she'd admitted to Alison the previous week, she couldn't stop herself. She saw monsters everywhere real or not. If she wasn't prepared_ she_ would end up buried in her yard. Or worse someone she loved would.

She felt Toby's arms tighten around her and his lips press against her temple. "Spence, I'm sure he'll understand. You said you know what it's like to be suspected, well he knows what it's like to be the one to suspect. He'll forgive you. You're easy to forgive."

"Maybe." Toby was the most forgiving person on the planet but it wasn't a strong trait in the Hastings family. She didn't think her dad was going to forget any time soon.

"It doesn't matter anyway. My mom's still leaving him. She said it wasn't even the lies about where they were. It was all of them. All the lies. Her exact words were '"it's about years of them"'. I always thought that was just the way they were. That was how their marriage worked, how our family worked." For all the dysfunction in their family she never imagined it would end up like this. "I'm not sure the Hastings know how to be open and honest. I don't ever remember it."

She closed her eyes and let Toby pull her closer. She could feel his strength. The strength that always amazed her and made her feel protected.

She didn't say the rest of what was on her mind. The other part of this that terrified. Her mom hadn't been happy. She'd finally lost patience with the lies and wanted out. Toby hated lies. What happened when he lost patience and wanted out? God knows he'd given her plenty of chances in the past.

As if he'd read her mind Toby squeezed her hand. "I wish I could fix this for you. I wish I could make it better. I know it doesn't help much but I meant what I said the other night you'll _never _be alone. No matter what. I'll be here for you. Always."

"It helps a lot, Tobes." She caught his lips in hers before snuggling closer into his embrace.

This was why she'd ventured out despite the time and weather. It was instinctual. No matter how bad she was feeling Toby made everything seem just a little bit better. The affliction in her soul could only be stopped by her soul mate. Something that the core of her being never forgot even when her conscious self momentarily did.

She could feel Toby's fingers through the thin material of her shirt, tracing random shapes on her back. It was something of a habit for him, ever since they'd started dating. He drew invisible outlines on the back of her hand with his thumb. He sketched elaborate patterns on her arms. His hands and lips always creating amazing designs on her skin. Ones that only he could see and she could feel. Spencer loved it. It was one of the things about Toby that made her feel safe. Loved. That she could survive anything as long as she had him.

It never failed to ease the almost constant tension in her. That tiny little ritual that was so intrinsically a part of _them_.

She fell into the first peaceful sleep she'd had in weeks.

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**So let me know what you think.**

**Or even if you couldn't care less about the story and just want to talk about the show feel free to message me.**

**Why is A back to trying to kill Toby all the time? Revenge? Toby knows something? To get to Spencer? Or they just really hate Spoby?**

**'In my Veins' is my fave Spoby song but I think 'Don't deserve you' is the best Spoby theme. Anyone agree?**


End file.
